I do this thing. I do this thing where I expect more of myself than I am capable of accomplishing. I think lots of people do it to themselves. It's self-sabotage. I remember a while ago I asked a counselor for some advice on how to balance things in my life. "How can I be a teacher, a business owner, a mother, a wife, a friend, a sibling, and still have balance?" She told me there was no way one person could do all of those things in a "balanced" way. "It's the work of 4 or 5 people," she said. "How can one person do all of those things equally well? You can't...there has to be a system of priority." Well, she was right (just like always...). And yet, I still seem to have these times where I expect myself to be better than I can humanly be.
At this moment in my life, I am talking about being involved with the Phantom of the Opera production at Eastern Oregon University. It's been a fun experience and the cast and crew have been amazing and I am glad that I had the chance to be involved, however, I am feeling like I have failed them today. I feel like there is so much more they need before the show opens (in two days!). Again, I have done all that is humanly possible. I have worked my tail off with 4 and 5 hours of rehearsal per night for the past 3 weeks, 5+ hours of office time devoted to Phantom cast every week, not to mention the hours of score study I had to do to learn how to conduct! :) (Andrew Lloyd Webber is a madman! Who puts a 15/16 bar, 2/4 bar, 7/8 bar and 5/4 bar back to back?!? :)) Anyway...I am just feeling like there has not been enough time (5 1/2 weeks total from callbacks-instead of the normal 8 weeks) to allow me (and the students are included in this) to be successful. I was disappointed in the run through last night and disappointed with the coming together of the singers and the orchestra. Not disappointed in the effort, but disappointed in the product. I just hope that it all comes together in the end for a fantastic performance and I hope that I have been of some help to someone in this process. I think that is always the trouble with teaching. You don't know if you've made a difference until later. :(
So, I was up until the wee hours of the morning trying to shut off my mind from all this processing and no one to talk to (because it was the wee hours of the morning). Needless to say, I didn't get much sleep and I still don't have much of a solution.
My amazing husband and reminded me that I knew going into this experience that it was going to be hard and nearly impossible to do everything that needed to be done in only 5 weeks time. And yet, here I am upset with myself for not doing a better job. I need to remember that I worked as hard as I possibly could and that's all a woman can do. The show must go on....(and up!)
Sunday, November 07, 2010
Thursday, October 07, 2010
He's here!...The Phantom of the Opera!!!
Well, I never thought I would be directing the music for the Phantom of the Opera and yet....here we are. I thought I did a pretty good job in the past couple of terms whittling back and focusing on my priorities and not being too stressed out or busy. Then, I was asked if I was interested in directing the music for Phantom. Ummmm....YES! :) So...here we are.
Rehearsals are going well. So far, it's a lot of prep work on my part and tedious pitches and sectionals. Tonight was our 4th music rehearsal and it sounded pretty good, considering. The cast is strong and I think they are working to get done what needs to get done. Here's the crazy part: We had 5 weeks from callbacks. !!! 5 weeks isn't a lot of time for a show like Phantom. Lucky for us, most of the cast are musicians and can learn their own music. Those who aren't have set up outside rehearsal time with me and the chorus all have CD's with their parts recorded on them. It just seems a little surreal still.
The show's rights have just been released for production on college and high school stages all over the nation and so far, we are the first University to take it on. We have hired in the Phantom from our Portland Opera connections and have cast the rest of the show from either EOU students or community members. It's a cast of 30 and we have our work cut out for us.
Every spare minute that I have (that is not being spent with my family or teaching in some other capacity) is being spent in preparation for leading these rehearsals. It's a lot of pressure for me and a lot of work to make sure that I do my job to allow the cast to do theirs.
I'm excited for the opportunity. I directed the music for Little Women and just finished up with Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. In truth, I'm glad I had those shows to cut my teeth on because this is not a small venture in any stretch of the imagination. The pitches have almost all been learned and then it's on to the coaching. My goal is to have all the tools to the singers that they will need to put on a successful show by the 13th of October. Not to scare myself, but that is in 6 days and 4 rehearsals from tonight.
No problem...........
Rehearsals are going well. So far, it's a lot of prep work on my part and tedious pitches and sectionals. Tonight was our 4th music rehearsal and it sounded pretty good, considering. The cast is strong and I think they are working to get done what needs to get done. Here's the crazy part: We had 5 weeks from callbacks. !!! 5 weeks isn't a lot of time for a show like Phantom. Lucky for us, most of the cast are musicians and can learn their own music. Those who aren't have set up outside rehearsal time with me and the chorus all have CD's with their parts recorded on them. It just seems a little surreal still.
The show's rights have just been released for production on college and high school stages all over the nation and so far, we are the first University to take it on. We have hired in the Phantom from our Portland Opera connections and have cast the rest of the show from either EOU students or community members. It's a cast of 30 and we have our work cut out for us.
Every spare minute that I have (that is not being spent with my family or teaching in some other capacity) is being spent in preparation for leading these rehearsals. It's a lot of pressure for me and a lot of work to make sure that I do my job to allow the cast to do theirs.
I'm excited for the opportunity. I directed the music for Little Women and just finished up with Seven Brides for Seven Brothers. In truth, I'm glad I had those shows to cut my teeth on because this is not a small venture in any stretch of the imagination. The pitches have almost all been learned and then it's on to the coaching. My goal is to have all the tools to the singers that they will need to put on a successful show by the 13th of October. Not to scare myself, but that is in 6 days and 4 rehearsals from tonight.
No problem...........
Sunday, October 03, 2010
Jack Johnson, LIVE in concert!
So, the last concert I went to was New Kids on the Block when I was a kid. Sam and I saw Blues Traveler play in the park in Boise when we lived there and and I have been to a lot of opera, musical theatre, and recitals in the mean time, but not any concerts.
My brother Ross called me about a week ago and asked if Sam and I wanted to go to the Gorge to see Jack Johnson with him and his wonderful girlfriend, Katie. Of course we do! :) I arranged for Ethan to be well taken care of while enjoying a camping trip with his best friend Nola and Sam and I headed out. We got to Ross and Katie's house yesterday fairly early and hung out with them drinking cups of coffee and talking and laughing.
We went out to lunch at the Ice Harbor Brew Pub at the marina in Kennewick *(Delicious!)* We had great food, beer and conversation. Then we headed to George, Washington, home of The Gorge Amphitheatre. It was amazing! It holds 25,000 people and I think we were easily at 1/2 or 3/4 capacity last night. That is a lot of people in one place!!
We had general seating tickets so we found a decent spot on the grassy hill where we couldn't see very well, but we would be out of the heat of the sun and were as close as we thought we could get. Then we moved a little closer and figured we would just look through the chain link as we watched. Then someone actually went down to the very front and asked how much those VIP tickets would have been. We were told that all seating for Jack Johnson was general seating and that we were welcome to sit anywhere by the boxes. So....we were right up front!!! We saw everything and heard everything and it was an incredible show! Jack Johnson and his crew were preceded by G.Love and he was preceded by an up-and-coming Malaysian singer/songwriter Zee Avi. I loved it all! What a wonderful experience! I was glad to have had a big lunch as hot dogs were $6. :) What great music! I don't know when I have seen that many people in one place. Maybe the last Mariner's game I attended. However, getting out of the parking lot and on the road after a Mariner's game is relatively easy compared to what we had to do to get out of the field of parking in George, Washington. It's a major venue that holds major shows during their season, but it's still in the middle of no-where and with the exception of a turn lane for a section fo time, it's a 2 lane road in and out of the parking areas to the highway/freeway connections. It was funny to listen to everyone getting into the parking lot and honking their car alarms to find where they had parked. It was a sea of cars and a sea of people and a few frisbee games. :)
What a great experience! Ross and Katie spoiled us by allowing us the opportunity to go!! It was incredible and an experience I won't soon forget! Thank you, Ross and Katie! oh...and Jack. :)
My brother Ross called me about a week ago and asked if Sam and I wanted to go to the Gorge to see Jack Johnson with him and his wonderful girlfriend, Katie. Of course we do! :) I arranged for Ethan to be well taken care of while enjoying a camping trip with his best friend Nola and Sam and I headed out. We got to Ross and Katie's house yesterday fairly early and hung out with them drinking cups of coffee and talking and laughing.
We went out to lunch at the Ice Harbor Brew Pub at the marina in Kennewick *(Delicious!)* We had great food, beer and conversation. Then we headed to George, Washington, home of The Gorge Amphitheatre. It was amazing! It holds 25,000 people and I think we were easily at 1/2 or 3/4 capacity last night. That is a lot of people in one place!!
We had general seating tickets so we found a decent spot on the grassy hill where we couldn't see very well, but we would be out of the heat of the sun and were as close as we thought we could get. Then we moved a little closer and figured we would just look through the chain link as we watched. Then someone actually went down to the very front and asked how much those VIP tickets would have been. We were told that all seating for Jack Johnson was general seating and that we were welcome to sit anywhere by the boxes. So....we were right up front!!! We saw everything and heard everything and it was an incredible show! Jack Johnson and his crew were preceded by G.Love and he was preceded by an up-and-coming Malaysian singer/songwriter Zee Avi. I loved it all! What a wonderful experience! I was glad to have had a big lunch as hot dogs were $6. :) What great music! I don't know when I have seen that many people in one place. Maybe the last Mariner's game I attended. However, getting out of the parking lot and on the road after a Mariner's game is relatively easy compared to what we had to do to get out of the field of parking in George, Washington. It's a major venue that holds major shows during their season, but it's still in the middle of no-where and with the exception of a turn lane for a section fo time, it's a 2 lane road in and out of the parking areas to the highway/freeway connections. It was funny to listen to everyone getting into the parking lot and honking their car alarms to find where they had parked. It was a sea of cars and a sea of people and a few frisbee games. :)
What a great experience! Ross and Katie spoiled us by allowing us the opportunity to go!! It was incredible and an experience I won't soon forget! Thank you, Ross and Katie! oh...and Jack. :)
Tuesday, September 07, 2010
Oh, I see...I was MADE this way!! :)
I have been doing a lot of soul searching lately in my search for bettering myself, my parenting, and my marriage. In my search, I have looked up a lot of information online and talked with lots of family and friends. I took a few personality tests and wanted to document what I have confirmed about myself. This helps me not only understand my self and my own actions, but it will help my friends and family understand ME along with helping ME to understand my connections and interactions with them. So....after several personality tests from reputable sources, here is what I have learned:
#1) I am an ESFJ
#1) I am an ESFJ
Portrait of an ESFJ - Extraverted Sensing Feeling Judging
(Extraverted Feeling with Introverted Sensing)
The Caregiver
As an ESFJ, your primary mode of living is focused externally, where you deal with things according to how you feel about them, or how they fit in with your personal value system. Your secondary mode is internal, where you take things in via your five senses in a literal, concrete fashion.
ESFJs are people persons - they love people. They are warmly interested in others. They use their Sensing and Judging characteristics to gather specific, detailed information about others, and turn this information into supportive judgments. They want to like people, and have a special skill at bringing out the best in others. They are extremely good at reading others, and understanding their point of view. The ESFJ's strong desire to be liked and for everything to be pleasant makes them highly supportive of others. People like to be around ESFJs, because the ESFJ has a special gift of invariably making people feel good about themselves.
The ESFJ takes their responsibilities very seriously, and is very dependable. They value security and stability, and have a strong focus on the details of life. They see before others do what needs to be done, and do whatever it takes to make sure that it gets done. They enjoy these types of tasks, and are extremely good at them.
ESFJs are warm and energetic. They need approval from others to feel good about themselves. They are hurt by indifference and don't understand unkindness. They are very giving people, who get a lot of their personal satisfaction from the happiness of others. They want to be appreciated for who they are, and what they give. They're very sensitive to others, and freely give practical care. ESFJs are such caring individuals, that they sometimes have a hard time seeing or accepting a difficult truth about someone they care about.
With Extraverted Feeling dominating their personality, ESFJs are focused on reading other people. They have a strong need to be liked, and to be in control. They are extremely good at reading others, and often change their own manner to be more pleasing to whoever they're with at the moment.
The ESFJ's value system is defined externally. They usually have very well-formed ideas about the way things should be, and are not shy about expressing these opinions. However, they weigh their values and morals against the world around them, rather than against an internal value system. They may have a strong moral code, but it is defined by the community that they live in, rather than by any strongly felt internal values.
ESFJs who have had the benefit of being raised and surrounded by a strong value system that is ethical and centered around genuine goodness will most likely be the kindest, most generous souls who will gladly give you the shirt off of their back without a second thought. For these individuals, the selfless quality of their personality type is genuine and pure. ESFJs who have not had the advantage of developing their own values by weighing them against a good external value system may develop very questionable values. In such cases, the ESFJ most often genuinely believes in the integrity of their skewed value system. They have no internal understanding of values to set them straight. In weighing their values against our society, they find plenty of support for whatever moral transgression they wish to justify. This type of ESFJ is a dangerous person indeed. Extraverted Feeling drives them to control and manipulate, and their lack of Intuition prevents them from seeing the big picture. They're usually quite popular and good with people, and good at manipulating them. Unlike their ENFJ cousin, they don't have Intuition to help them understand the real consequences of their actions. They are driven to manipulate other to achieve their own ends, yet they believe that they are following a solid moral code of conduct.
All ESFJs have a natural tendency to want to control their environment. Their dominant function demands structure and organization, and seeks closure. ESFJs are most comfortable with structured environments. They're not likely to enjoy having to do things which involve abstract, theoretical concepts, or impersonal analysis. They do enjoy creating order and structure, and are very good at tasks which require these kinds of skills. ESFJs should be careful about controling people in their lives who do not wish to be controlled.
ESFJs respect and believe in the laws and rules of authority, and believe that others should do so as well. They're traditional, and prefer to do things in the established way, rather than venturing into unchartered territory. Their need for security drives their ready acceptance and adherence to the policies of the established system. This tendency may cause them to sometimes blindly accept rules without questioning or understanding them.
An ESFJ who has developed in a less than ideal way may be prone to being quite insecure, and focus all of their attention on pleasing others. He or she might also be very controling, or overly sensitive, imagining bad intentions when there weren't any. (emphasis added!)
ESFJs incorporate many of the traits that are associated with women in our society. However, male ESFJs will usually not appear feminine at all. On the contrary, ESFJs are typically quite conscious about gender roles and will be most comfortable playing a role that suits their gender in our society. Male ESFJs will be quite masculine (albeit sensitive when you get to know them), and female ESFJs will be very feminine.
ESFJs at their best are warm, sympathetic, helpful, cooperative, tactful, down-to-earth, practical, thorough, consistent, organized, enthusiastic, and energetic. They enjoy tradition and security, and will seek stable lives that are rich in contact with friends and family.
Jungian functional preference ordering:
Dominant: Extraverted Feeling
Auxiliary: Introverted Sensing
Tertiary: Extraverted Intuition
Inferior: Introverted Thinking
#2) In grad school I read the "Wisdom of the Enneagram". I just re-took the test and confirmed that I am STILL a 2 on the Enneagram personality scale.
Type Two OverviewWe have named personality type Two The Helper because people of this type are either the most genuinely helpful to other people or, when they are less healthy they are the most highly invested in seeing themselves as helpful. Being generous and going out of their way for others makes Twos feel that theirs is the richest, most meaningful way to live. The love and concern they feel—and the genuine good they do—warms their hearts and makes them feel worthwhile. Twos are most interested in what they feel to be the “really, really good” things in life—love, closeness, sharing, family, and friendship....
When Twos are healthy and in balance, they really are loving, helpful, generous, and considerate. People are drawn to them like bees to honey. Healthy Twos warm others in the glow of their hearts. They enliven others with their appreciation and attention, helping people to see positive qualities in themselves that they had not previously recognized. In short, healthy Twos are the embodiment of “the good parent” that everyone wishes they had: someone who sees them as they are, understands them with immense compassion, helps and encourages with infinite patience, and is always willing to lend a hand—while knowing precisely how and when to let go. Healthy Twos open our hearts because theirs are already so open and they show us the way to be more deeply and richly human.....
However, Twos’ inner development may be limited by their “shadow side”—pride, self-deception, the tendency to become over-involved in the lives of others, and the tendency to manipulate others to get their own emotional needs met. Transformational work entails going into dark places in ourselves, and this very much goes against the grain of the Two’s personality structure, which prefers to see itself in only the most positive, glowing terms.Perhaps the biggest obstacle facing Twos, Threes, and Fours in their inner work is having to face their underlying Center fear of worthlessness. Beneath the surface, all three types fear that they are without value in themselves, and so they must be or do something extraordinary in order to win love and acceptance from others. In the average to unhealthy Levels, Twos present a false image of being completely generous and unselfish and of not wanting any kind of pay-off for themselves, when in fact, they can have enormous expectations and unacknowledged emotional needs.
Average to unhealthy Twos seek validation of their worth by obeying their superego’s demands to sacrifice themselves for others. They believe they must always put others first and be loving and unselfish if they want to get love. The problem is that “putting others first” makes Twos secretly angry and resentful, feelings they work hard to repress or deny. Nevertheless, they eventually erupt in various ways, disrupting Twos’ relationships and revealing the inauthenticity of many of the average to unhealthy Two’s claims about themselves and the depth of their “love.”
And of course, I couldn't leave THIS one out! :) Just for my dearest friend in the world (yes, Katie P, that's you!)
#3) I am a LIBRA! :)
Libra is the only zodiac symbol that's neither animal nor human -- but surely that doesn't make you any less human. In fact, Libra is among the most sociable of the signs. As scales of old were really "balances," so to do you seek balance in all that Libra does. You respond to situations with grace as Libra attempts to put others at ease. Artistically, Libra tries to balance form, content, colors and elements, and for this reason can be drawn toward creative endeavors.
The greatest balancing act is between self and others, and it is here that many Libras focus their energy. Here, in the realm of interpersonal relationships, you are a champion. Libra know how to be the charming host or hostess. Libra can sense what others want before they ask for it. And you can make the needs of others a higher priority than your own. In fact, Libra is the shuttle diplomats of the zodiac, going back and forth between the extremes until a solution is negotiated.
The Libra motto might be "To every action there is an opposite and equal reaction." It is your innate sense of cause and effect that makes you so effective as a strategist. Whether it's playing chess, relationship counseling or civic planning, you know how to be effective while staying in the middle of the road. Your easygoing attitude can serve you and others well, but don't forget that your needs cannot go totally unfulfilled or you won't have anything to give to others.
So, I am who I am and there isn't a WHOLE lot I can do about it accept make the choices in my life to be the best of the person that I am. I am working on the parenting and the marriage part. Friends, relationships, and work are in the mix as well, but for now, I am learning how to use my nature and my personality to be the best wife and mother that I can be. I'm learning a lot about myself and a lot about my boys at the same time! What a journey this is!
Thursday, September 02, 2010
Parenting Trials....
So, I spent part of my afternoon in tears and most of my evening in a bit of a daze. Ethan and I have been on a short rope with each other lately and today I pretty much had a breakdown. This parenting thing is a lot harder than I thought it was going to be and I have a pretty stinkin' great kid "right out of the box", so I can't imagine what might have been.....
Ethan has turned 5 years old and has a controlling and demanding mommy. The poor guy has done pretty well with all of it so far, but lately, he's not putting up with much of my crap. There are fits and whining sessions and crying and physical lash-outs. It's not pretty, folks. Of course, all of this stops the minute daddy walks in the door because daddy is the calming factor in BOTH of our lives. His laid-back nature and over-all calm are a vital part in Ethan and I's successful relationship. :)
Today, I was home. I had no obligations. No teaching, no meetings, I didn't go to rehearsal. I was just home. Ethan and I got into a few tussles (mostly power struggles) early in the morning and he was already down a few privileges and had scored a few time-outs before lunch. I thought maybe a distraction was in order, so I had his friend come over and play for a couple of hours. That actually worked very well. Ethan and Austin played together very well and I was able to clean my room, get some laundry done and sort through Ethan's toys and pick up his room a bit. I gave the 10 minute and 5 minute warnings (complete with responses from both boys) after a couple of hours that it would be time for Austin to go home, but it didn't seem to matter. Ethan threw a fit. Austin (who is going into 8th grade, but fairly autistic) stared at Ethan like he was some creature. :) Austin and I got our shoes on and headed out to the car and Ethan eventually showed up complete with tears, and fit throwing/door slamming. On the way home I asked Ethan if he was embarrassed by his behavior and let him know that it was completely inappropriate. My rant was met with only more negative nasty fit-like behavior. I started yelling, he started yelling and I sent him to his room (after yelling at him to go there). Sam was home for lunch and I won't go into the dirty details, but he was the recipient of my anger as well. I went in my room, slammed the door and cried and cried. Mostly at that point, I felt like the victim. I was pissed at Sam for pointing out that my behavior was no different than Ethan's. I was pissed at Ethan because he has NOT been behaving like the angel child I know him to be.
So...there's my dirty laundry for the day and here's what I have learned in all of this. I'm 1/2 way through the book I picked up at the library yesterday (and started reading today) called "ScreamFree Parenting". Yes...I know myself pretty well. I'm passionate, energetic, dedicated, and ambitious. This means that I'm a yeller. :) So...here's what I've learned so far:
By reacting to my son's acting out, I am bring my anxiety and fears into the equation. I fear (the same as every parent) on some deep level that if he's throwing fits and acting out NOW at age 5, he's going to grow up to be full of repressed anger and walk into a mall and shoot everyone. :)
So...I am going to run an experiment. I am going to learn to calm MYSELF before reacting to a situation. If I can be calm and rational, I can usually work through our trials WITHOUT ending in a power struggle. I am working to raise him to be a self-guided and confident adult. The only way to do that is to give him some control over his own life. I'm going to work on respecting his space. I want him to knock before coming into my room, he deserves the same respect. I am going to change the way I look at parenting so there is less REACTION and more ACTION.
One thing I am doing to implement this new change is dedicated time with Ethan. We played legos for an hour and a half today and all I could think about was what I SHOULD be doing. I wanted to work in the backyard and finish cleaning the house. I will be limiting my computer time (again) and we will both (Ethan and I) be using timers for a while.
I'll keep you posted. For now, I'm 1 minute and 23 seconds over my limit and it's time for bed. More tomorrow...or another day when things have gone a little better. :)
Ethan has turned 5 years old and has a controlling and demanding mommy. The poor guy has done pretty well with all of it so far, but lately, he's not putting up with much of my crap. There are fits and whining sessions and crying and physical lash-outs. It's not pretty, folks. Of course, all of this stops the minute daddy walks in the door because daddy is the calming factor in BOTH of our lives. His laid-back nature and over-all calm are a vital part in Ethan and I's successful relationship. :)
Today, I was home. I had no obligations. No teaching, no meetings, I didn't go to rehearsal. I was just home. Ethan and I got into a few tussles (mostly power struggles) early in the morning and he was already down a few privileges and had scored a few time-outs before lunch. I thought maybe a distraction was in order, so I had his friend come over and play for a couple of hours. That actually worked very well. Ethan and Austin played together very well and I was able to clean my room, get some laundry done and sort through Ethan's toys and pick up his room a bit. I gave the 10 minute and 5 minute warnings (complete with responses from both boys) after a couple of hours that it would be time for Austin to go home, but it didn't seem to matter. Ethan threw a fit. Austin (who is going into 8th grade, but fairly autistic) stared at Ethan like he was some creature. :) Austin and I got our shoes on and headed out to the car and Ethan eventually showed up complete with tears, and fit throwing/door slamming. On the way home I asked Ethan if he was embarrassed by his behavior and let him know that it was completely inappropriate. My rant was met with only more negative nasty fit-like behavior. I started yelling, he started yelling and I sent him to his room (after yelling at him to go there). Sam was home for lunch and I won't go into the dirty details, but he was the recipient of my anger as well. I went in my room, slammed the door and cried and cried. Mostly at that point, I felt like the victim. I was pissed at Sam for pointing out that my behavior was no different than Ethan's. I was pissed at Ethan because he has NOT been behaving like the angel child I know him to be.
So...there's my dirty laundry for the day and here's what I have learned in all of this. I'm 1/2 way through the book I picked up at the library yesterday (and started reading today) called "ScreamFree Parenting". Yes...I know myself pretty well. I'm passionate, energetic, dedicated, and ambitious. This means that I'm a yeller. :) So...here's what I've learned so far:
By reacting to my son's acting out, I am bring my anxiety and fears into the equation. I fear (the same as every parent) on some deep level that if he's throwing fits and acting out NOW at age 5, he's going to grow up to be full of repressed anger and walk into a mall and shoot everyone. :)
So...I am going to run an experiment. I am going to learn to calm MYSELF before reacting to a situation. If I can be calm and rational, I can usually work through our trials WITHOUT ending in a power struggle. I am working to raise him to be a self-guided and confident adult. The only way to do that is to give him some control over his own life. I'm going to work on respecting his space. I want him to knock before coming into my room, he deserves the same respect. I am going to change the way I look at parenting so there is less REACTION and more ACTION.
One thing I am doing to implement this new change is dedicated time with Ethan. We played legos for an hour and a half today and all I could think about was what I SHOULD be doing. I wanted to work in the backyard and finish cleaning the house. I will be limiting my computer time (again) and we will both (Ethan and I) be using timers for a while.
I'll keep you posted. For now, I'm 1 minute and 23 seconds over my limit and it's time for bed. More tomorrow...or another day when things have gone a little better. :)
Friday, August 27, 2010
The Forney Reunion Version 20.10
This year's Forney Family Reunion was not without incident. It was not perfect in every way and yet, somehow it made it in the books as one of my favorites. Right up there with the year in Lincoln city with the big bathtub, the year in Kellogg with the mansion and Silverwood, and some of my other favorites, like one of the older years with the "gathering place" in the middle of the properties.
The 2010 Forney Family Reuion was held in Kennewick, Washington at the home of Ross Forney and Katie Flynn.
Ross and Katie had decided to remodel their top floor 2 weeks before hand, which is another story altogether... Anyway. The sink was still setting and the tile grout was still drying and the stove had not yet been installed when everyone arrived and everyone helped out where they could to make sure the kitchen could be used. My dear brother Ross just about had a heart attack every day and should NEVER do any kind of remodeling again! :)
We all had a lovely time. We lounged by the pool, slept in, some played in the river on the wave runners. The kids jumped in the pool over and over and over and over and over all day long for 3 or 4 days and never got tired of it! We spent evenings listening to music and hanging out on the deck. Laughing at stories and reminiscing. We sat around and looked at pictures and watched funny youtube videos. We talked to my cousin Erik about heading off to Vietnam for a year of studying and cousin Carrie about starting her freshman year of college. We talked about the years past when Grant didn't talk and celebrated that we got to hear from him a bit this year. :) We enjoyed watching grandma change her mind about liking and not liking the dogs depending on their behavior. Anna came again this year and brought her bunny and guinea pig just in case there weren't enough people and animals already. :) The kids LOVED having them on the deck to play with when they weren't in the pool.
Only one minor "incident" of someone drinking too much and it wasn't any of us, so it all worked out just fine. There was little or no stress, tons of food, some beer pong by the pool, and tons of laughing....
It was amazing to me that we didn't need anything at all. Grandma and pa have spoiled us so much in the past. We have had 12,000 sq. ft. mansions in the woods of Kellogg, Idaho. We have had HUGE vacation homes on the coast, a lodge with a pool outside of Wenatchee, condos in Leavenworth, and year after year of not worrying about lodging costs. This year, they lost a lot of their fun money in the stock market and so we held the reunion at Ross and Katie's house. It was amazing! We didn't need a fancy mansion. People didn't argue over the sleeping arrangements. No one complained about the noise level at night and no one instigated any drama....well...none of US anyway. The only complaints I heard from anyone at all were that Sarah Forney wasn't able to make it and that Paul wasn't around very much. Everyone had a lovely time and enjoyed each other's company! Thank you, Ross and Katie, for one of the best years yet.
Now...here are a few inside jokes and quotes from the Forney Reunion 20.10:
Grant: "mom, please stop straddling me..."
Grandma: (who is CONVINCED that phart is a German word that means gathering although Google disagrees) "The Forney Fart should be spelled p-h-a-r-t!"
Grandma: during the youtube video of someone getting really excited about a double rainbow "he's having a climax"--wow grandma. :)
Someone (Sophia?) referencing our long-running hat joke with Erik: "put your hat on if your knees are sore"
Grandma: "Did someone just lick my leg?" -laughter-"oh...it was the dog." Carrie: "case closed."
Ann: "Their names are Blazer and Dash" Grandma: "that's a dog's name".
Ann: "I hit my kids ALL THE TIME!"
Erik to me via Facebook: "Ok: You told everyone the funny bird story and we all laughed. Then Ross told the special girl story and we all laughed. Then you told Ross the funny bird story and we all laughed. Then grandma said something about how we all started laughing when you told the bird story, seemingly forgetting about the special girl story. Except I got confused and then someone spilled coffee and I really can't explain."
Erik wears a hat because his arms get sore from running his hands through his hair. :)
Grandma: "look at my toes!".
Grandpa (taken from Erik's facebook): " I come into the family reunion and everyone has their computers on their laps looking at their facesheets and tweetering and checking their spacebooks." Grandpa...you rock! :)
The 2010 Forney Family Reuion was held in Kennewick, Washington at the home of Ross Forney and Katie Flynn.
Ross and Katie had decided to remodel their top floor 2 weeks before hand, which is another story altogether... Anyway. The sink was still setting and the tile grout was still drying and the stove had not yet been installed when everyone arrived and everyone helped out where they could to make sure the kitchen could be used. My dear brother Ross just about had a heart attack every day and should NEVER do any kind of remodeling again! :)
We all had a lovely time. We lounged by the pool, slept in, some played in the river on the wave runners. The kids jumped in the pool over and over and over and over and over all day long for 3 or 4 days and never got tired of it! We spent evenings listening to music and hanging out on the deck. Laughing at stories and reminiscing. We sat around and looked at pictures and watched funny youtube videos. We talked to my cousin Erik about heading off to Vietnam for a year of studying and cousin Carrie about starting her freshman year of college. We talked about the years past when Grant didn't talk and celebrated that we got to hear from him a bit this year. :) We enjoyed watching grandma change her mind about liking and not liking the dogs depending on their behavior. Anna came again this year and brought her bunny and guinea pig just in case there weren't enough people and animals already. :) The kids LOVED having them on the deck to play with when they weren't in the pool.
Only one minor "incident" of someone drinking too much and it wasn't any of us, so it all worked out just fine. There was little or no stress, tons of food, some beer pong by the pool, and tons of laughing....
It was amazing to me that we didn't need anything at all. Grandma and pa have spoiled us so much in the past. We have had 12,000 sq. ft. mansions in the woods of Kellogg, Idaho. We have had HUGE vacation homes on the coast, a lodge with a pool outside of Wenatchee, condos in Leavenworth, and year after year of not worrying about lodging costs. This year, they lost a lot of their fun money in the stock market and so we held the reunion at Ross and Katie's house. It was amazing! We didn't need a fancy mansion. People didn't argue over the sleeping arrangements. No one complained about the noise level at night and no one instigated any drama....well...none of US anyway. The only complaints I heard from anyone at all were that Sarah Forney wasn't able to make it and that Paul wasn't around very much. Everyone had a lovely time and enjoyed each other's company! Thank you, Ross and Katie, for one of the best years yet.
Now...here are a few inside jokes and quotes from the Forney Reunion 20.10:
Grant: "mom, please stop straddling me..."
Grandma: (who is CONVINCED that phart is a German word that means gathering although Google disagrees) "The Forney Fart should be spelled p-h-a-r-t!"
Grandma: during the youtube video of someone getting really excited about a double rainbow "he's having a climax"--wow grandma. :)
Someone (Sophia?) referencing our long-running hat joke with Erik: "put your hat on if your knees are sore"
Grandma: "Did someone just lick my leg?" -laughter-"oh...it was the dog." Carrie: "case closed."
Ann: "Their names are Blazer and Dash" Grandma: "that's a dog's name".
Ann: "I hit my kids ALL THE TIME!"
Erik to me via Facebook: "Ok: You told everyone the funny bird story and we all laughed. Then Ross told the special girl story and we all laughed. Then you told Ross the funny bird story and we all laughed. Then grandma said something about how we all started laughing when you told the bird story, seemingly forgetting about the special girl story. Except I got confused and then someone spilled coffee and I really can't explain."
Erik wears a hat because his arms get sore from running his hands through his hair. :)
Grandma: "look at my toes!".
Grandpa (taken from Erik's facebook): " I come into the family reunion and everyone has their computers on their laps looking at their facesheets and tweetering and checking their spacebooks." Grandpa...you rock! :)
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Ethan learns about money
We've been teaching Ethan about money. About a year or so ago, we made these jars:
We started paying him 3 quarters a day for doing all of the things on his chart. Some of these things were chores and some were things like "listen to adults", "be respectful to others", and "do something nice for someone". When he got his stickers at the end of the day, he got his quarters. If he didn't manage to get all of his stickers, he still got quarters, but not all three. We talked about giving and saving and what those things meant in relation to spending. He REALLY responded to it! We still have the jars and we still use them in full force, but we no longer have a sticker chart. Now it's quite random. Today I paid him to help me haul old paint cans up from the basement and load them into the jeep to dispose of. Sometimes I will randomly give him some "spend" money when he does something unexpectedly kind for someone. We take our give money to church and recently he contributed the entirety to a "purchase a wheelchair for a kid" mission during our church's VBS.
On his birthday in April this year, Ethan got 2 checks from his grandparents. Money is awesome to receive for your birthday, but I wondered if he understood how much money $25 (x2 checks!!) was. I went to the bank and instead of just putting the $$ in his savings and giving him a little bit to spend, I cashed them both in one dollar denominations. Then I laid them out in front of him so he could see how many dollars were from each grandparent. :) He was surprised!!
and felt very rich!!!.............
Then we counted out a little to spend and put the rest in his savings. It was a great lesson!
A couple of days ago, Ethan wanted to set up a lemonade stand. I helped him make the Lemonade and I only had HUGE red cups, so he asked for $1 per large cup. He was out there for about 2 hours. He learned about service and patience and the exchange that buying and selling is. :)
Plus...he was REALLY CUTE! :) He made $9 in 2 hours and only $2 of that came from me and dad. :) I thank the 7 random people who stopped by and bought a cup of lemonade from my son to teach him a valuable lesson we all remember learning as kids in some fashion or another. Except the guy who asked if my 5 year old had change for a $20 at his lemonade stand....who does that? :) We made it work anyway and I spotted him his $1 and he DID come back and re-pay it, so I guess that gets him some points. :) Ah....learning the value of money......
We started paying him 3 quarters a day for doing all of the things on his chart. Some of these things were chores and some were things like "listen to adults", "be respectful to others", and "do something nice for someone". When he got his stickers at the end of the day, he got his quarters. If he didn't manage to get all of his stickers, he still got quarters, but not all three. We talked about giving and saving and what those things meant in relation to spending. He REALLY responded to it! We still have the jars and we still use them in full force, but we no longer have a sticker chart. Now it's quite random. Today I paid him to help me haul old paint cans up from the basement and load them into the jeep to dispose of. Sometimes I will randomly give him some "spend" money when he does something unexpectedly kind for someone. We take our give money to church and recently he contributed the entirety to a "purchase a wheelchair for a kid" mission during our church's VBS.
On his birthday in April this year, Ethan got 2 checks from his grandparents. Money is awesome to receive for your birthday, but I wondered if he understood how much money $25 (x2 checks!!) was. I went to the bank and instead of just putting the $$ in his savings and giving him a little bit to spend, I cashed them both in one dollar denominations. Then I laid them out in front of him so he could see how many dollars were from each grandparent. :) He was surprised!!
and felt very rich!!!.............
Then we counted out a little to spend and put the rest in his savings. It was a great lesson!
A couple of days ago, Ethan wanted to set up a lemonade stand. I helped him make the Lemonade and I only had HUGE red cups, so he asked for $1 per large cup. He was out there for about 2 hours. He learned about service and patience and the exchange that buying and selling is. :)
Plus...he was REALLY CUTE! :) He made $9 in 2 hours and only $2 of that came from me and dad. :) I thank the 7 random people who stopped by and bought a cup of lemonade from my son to teach him a valuable lesson we all remember learning as kids in some fashion or another. Except the guy who asked if my 5 year old had change for a $20 at his lemonade stand....who does that? :) We made it work anyway and I spotted him his $1 and he DID come back and re-pay it, so I guess that gets him some points. :) Ah....learning the value of money......
Saturday, July 17, 2010
GREAT day for work on the house!
Well, the construction in the back room made leaps and bounds today! Mr. Sam has been spending most (if not all) of his time to get Ross's (my brother) kitchen cabinets finished so that they can put them in their remodeled kitchen sometime very soon. Here are some of those:
Pretty, huh? Mr. Sam does a GREAT job in his shop!! Don't mind the drawer without a front....there is one....there was just a...well...we'll say a slight issue. So...Mr. Sam is fixing it. :)
Well...the kitchen project is all but done and today was a day to spend on our back hallway project. We have just about as much done now as we can get done with the materials we have. We still need trim, a doorknob, some outlets and switches and then we get the joy of putting up the siding. However, Mr. Sam did a TON of work ALL DAY today and got pretty danged far!!
So, here are some photo updates of our "back hallway" behind the kitchen:
Here's the paint color...well...kind of. It's actually prettier than the pic. :) It's been painted for a while now...
Here is Sam putting up the trim. Again...happened the same day as the paint.
Here is the outside with the two "window units" in place. This installation process was today's work! The door prep (painting, sanding, and finishing as they came unfinished) took Sam forever to do from the minute he got the doors until not too long ago. They look FANTASTIC!
Here is the door installation prep work...oh...and a popsicle break. :)
Here are the three units installed. The view from the outside. And a cute little boy.
Here are all three units installed from the inside. It was tricky to get a good picture because of the angle of the doorway I was standing through and shooting from the inside out is always tricky, but you can get the idea.
And here is the finished floor!!
So...LOTS of work got done today!! Tomorrow I am going to start working on the backyard a bit and see if I can't get a handle on the jungle back there. I'm choosing to ignore the hill for now and mostly just attack the places in the back yard that we live in and walk in and play in (well, would like to do those things). I have asked around to borrow a weed-eater and ...I think I have found a great solution. :) A friend of mine has a friend with goats. :) Yes...goats. We are going to hook up and do each other a favor (or two) with the exchange of said goats to hang out tied up in my backyard for a bit. I think they will have more fun "weed-wacking" than I would. :) I'll take pictures and let you know if I get in trouble for having a goat (maybe a couple) within city limits. :) What better way to get yard care and fertilization all at the same time? Man...we really are small-town Eastern Oregoners.
Pretty, huh? Mr. Sam does a GREAT job in his shop!! Don't mind the drawer without a front....there is one....there was just a...well...we'll say a slight issue. So...Mr. Sam is fixing it. :)Well...the kitchen project is all but done and today was a day to spend on our back hallway project. We have just about as much done now as we can get done with the materials we have. We still need trim, a doorknob, some outlets and switches and then we get the joy of putting up the siding. However, Mr. Sam did a TON of work ALL DAY today and got pretty danged far!!
So, here are some photo updates of our "back hallway" behind the kitchen:
Here's the paint color...well...kind of. It's actually prettier than the pic. :) It's been painted for a while now...
Here is Sam putting up the trim. Again...happened the same day as the paint.
Here is the outside with the two "window units" in place. This installation process was today's work! The door prep (painting, sanding, and finishing as they came unfinished) took Sam forever to do from the minute he got the doors until not too long ago. They look FANTASTIC!Here is the door installation prep work...oh...and a popsicle break. :)Here are the three units installed. The view from the outside. And a cute little boy.Here are all three units installed from the inside. It was tricky to get a good picture because of the angle of the doorway I was standing through and shooting from the inside out is always tricky, but you can get the idea.And here is the finished floor!!
So...LOTS of work got done today!! Tomorrow I am going to start working on the backyard a bit and see if I can't get a handle on the jungle back there. I'm choosing to ignore the hill for now and mostly just attack the places in the back yard that we live in and walk in and play in (well, would like to do those things). I have asked around to borrow a weed-eater and ...I think I have found a great solution. :) A friend of mine has a friend with goats. :) Yes...goats. We are going to hook up and do each other a favor (or two) with the exchange of said goats to hang out tied up in my backyard for a bit. I think they will have more fun "weed-wacking" than I would. :) I'll take pictures and let you know if I get in trouble for having a goat (maybe a couple) within city limits. :) What better way to get yard care and fertilization all at the same time? Man...we really are small-town Eastern Oregoners.
Friday, July 16, 2010
Judgment...who has the time?
So, I have realized in my old age (all of 31) that judgment of others is really a waste of time. I have spent my life wanting more for people than they want for themselves. I think that, in and of itself, is not a bad thing. I want my husband to be the best that he can be and be happy doing what he does. I want my siblings to meet wonderful mates and spend the rest of their lives realizing their potential. I want my mom to make the choice in her life that will make her the most happy and show her who she really is. I want my son to share his toys. :) I want my students to be successful in their daily search for growth and enlightenment. However, I am learning that there is a difference between wanting the best for everyone and being upset at them for not making the choices that I see as "clearly the path to take them there". That's the judgment part. I have decided that it's just not worth it...the being upset part. It doesn't help them and it doesn't help me. I've decided to turn that around. I am proud of my family members. I am proud of all of my siblings. They have all become wonderful people. I am proud of my husband and my son. I am proud of my students and from here on out, I will celebrate the people in my life and work to build them up rather than tear them down or tell them how I think their lives should have turned out. Who do I think I am anyway?
Let me give you an example. My sister Emma is stubborn. She knows this and it's one of her best and worst qualities. Her husband is a diver and got a job in Louisiana. In order to keep her family unit together, she moved to Louisiana when their baby was just a couple months old. She drove there. Across the country. In a fairly unreliable car. She lost her wallet. She took someone with her, but that person turned out NOT to be a lot of help when she needed it most and was more of a burden than a help. They slept in lighted gas station parking lots and rest areas and I said to myself (and to others)....she's crazy! What is she thinking? She's putting herself and her baby at risk so that she can drive far away and live by herself while her husband is away on a ship in the middle of the ocean. I thought she was being ridiculous and stubborn and I chose to judge her instead of support her. Had I approached the situation differently and been more supportive of her actions, we would have a stronger relationship and maybe I could have made what must have been a VERY difficult transition just a little easier on my little sister. Now that I look with different eyes, I see her bravery. Her fear must have always been on the edge of her thoughts and yet, she felt this was the best decision for her family at the time and did what she felt was best to accomplish her mission of keeping her family together. Instead of supporting that, I was upset with her and couldn't understand her reasoning.
Let's back up a few years. It's the year 1998 and I am a failing freshman at CWU (1.8 GPA and on academic probation...however...for posterity, you all should know that I graduated from EOU with a 3.7 GPA and went on to graduate school. :)). Someone approaches me and convinces me that I can make thousands of dollars by selling encyclopedias door to door. Now...you may laugh, but when you are making "interesting" choices in your life and you are learning what it means to be on your own...a lot of things sound pretty good. I paid my $400 (that I didn't have, by the way) and got my training and my books. Then, I got in a car that didn't belong to me and I drove BY MYSELF to Tennessee. I drove through tornadoes and parked under the overpass on the FREEWAY with everyone else so the car I was driving wasn't damaged by golf-ball sized hail. I slept in rest areas with the rest of my caravan and cried myself to sleep with fear. I got to Tennessee and took my week-long training and gave the guy back his car. Here I was, 19 years old in Tennessee with no car and very little money. They hooked me up with a roommate and sent us off to Pittsfield, Massachusetts. We arrived and had to live out of a dive of a hotel until we could find somewhere to live for the summer as the company had not arranged for housing. We found a basement to live in and began our selling. It took me about 4 days to realize that I was NOT good at selling things door to door. I spent the rest of my time in Massachusetts hanging out at the park during the day so my roommate wouldn't know that I wasn't even trying. It only took a short time before I called home and mom bought me a GREYHOUND ticket across the country. I rode that greyhound bus for days from Massachusetts to Washington. Now....how is my sister's choice to move to Louisiana to keep her family together and establish a life on her own any more "reckless" than my behavior? She had good reasons and a plan. I had NO reason and NO plan and it cost me (however, I will never forget the experience). I was being selfish when Emma moved and not thinking of her best interest and that of her new family, only of myself and what I felt was best for her.
I have stories like this for everyone I know. Stories when I judged when I should have either been supportive or kept to myself. I am going to work hard to make sure that I am a more supportive and less judgmental sister, mom, and friend. Hopefully, I will make a positive difference in the lives around me rather than a negative one. Just like Emma's stubbornness, my desire for everyone to reach their potential is both a positive and a negative trait in my character. I need to figure out how to use it more for the positive and learn to keep my opinions to myself when it's appropriate to do so.
Deep thoughts by Jamie. :)
Let me give you an example. My sister Emma is stubborn. She knows this and it's one of her best and worst qualities. Her husband is a diver and got a job in Louisiana. In order to keep her family unit together, she moved to Louisiana when their baby was just a couple months old. She drove there. Across the country. In a fairly unreliable car. She lost her wallet. She took someone with her, but that person turned out NOT to be a lot of help when she needed it most and was more of a burden than a help. They slept in lighted gas station parking lots and rest areas and I said to myself (and to others)....she's crazy! What is she thinking? She's putting herself and her baby at risk so that she can drive far away and live by herself while her husband is away on a ship in the middle of the ocean. I thought she was being ridiculous and stubborn and I chose to judge her instead of support her. Had I approached the situation differently and been more supportive of her actions, we would have a stronger relationship and maybe I could have made what must have been a VERY difficult transition just a little easier on my little sister. Now that I look with different eyes, I see her bravery. Her fear must have always been on the edge of her thoughts and yet, she felt this was the best decision for her family at the time and did what she felt was best to accomplish her mission of keeping her family together. Instead of supporting that, I was upset with her and couldn't understand her reasoning.
Let's back up a few years. It's the year 1998 and I am a failing freshman at CWU (1.8 GPA and on academic probation...however...for posterity, you all should know that I graduated from EOU with a 3.7 GPA and went on to graduate school. :)). Someone approaches me and convinces me that I can make thousands of dollars by selling encyclopedias door to door. Now...you may laugh, but when you are making "interesting" choices in your life and you are learning what it means to be on your own...a lot of things sound pretty good. I paid my $400 (that I didn't have, by the way) and got my training and my books. Then, I got in a car that didn't belong to me and I drove BY MYSELF to Tennessee. I drove through tornadoes and parked under the overpass on the FREEWAY with everyone else so the car I was driving wasn't damaged by golf-ball sized hail. I slept in rest areas with the rest of my caravan and cried myself to sleep with fear. I got to Tennessee and took my week-long training and gave the guy back his car. Here I was, 19 years old in Tennessee with no car and very little money. They hooked me up with a roommate and sent us off to Pittsfield, Massachusetts. We arrived and had to live out of a dive of a hotel until we could find somewhere to live for the summer as the company had not arranged for housing. We found a basement to live in and began our selling. It took me about 4 days to realize that I was NOT good at selling things door to door. I spent the rest of my time in Massachusetts hanging out at the park during the day so my roommate wouldn't know that I wasn't even trying. It only took a short time before I called home and mom bought me a GREYHOUND ticket across the country. I rode that greyhound bus for days from Massachusetts to Washington. Now....how is my sister's choice to move to Louisiana to keep her family together and establish a life on her own any more "reckless" than my behavior? She had good reasons and a plan. I had NO reason and NO plan and it cost me (however, I will never forget the experience). I was being selfish when Emma moved and not thinking of her best interest and that of her new family, only of myself and what I felt was best for her.
I have stories like this for everyone I know. Stories when I judged when I should have either been supportive or kept to myself. I am going to work hard to make sure that I am a more supportive and less judgmental sister, mom, and friend. Hopefully, I will make a positive difference in the lives around me rather than a negative one. Just like Emma's stubbornness, my desire for everyone to reach their potential is both a positive and a negative trait in my character. I need to figure out how to use it more for the positive and learn to keep my opinions to myself when it's appropriate to do so.
Deep thoughts by Jamie. :)
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
The 2010 NATS Convention
I've been home for a while now from the annual NATS (National Association of Teachers of Singing) convention in Salt Lake City. It has taken this long for me to process all of the information that I gained while I was there and to realize exactly what I had the opportunity to experience. I took amazing classes from 7:30 am to 7:30 pm every day for six amazing days. In the evenings, we had performances and networking receptions. I went to every class I could and learned more in the 6 days I was there than in a good chunk of my time in college. :)
Please...allow me to name drop. :) Kurt Alexander-Zeller taught 3 days of a fantastic body mapping class (out of his book "What Every Singer Needs to Know about the Body"). Joan Frey Boytim offered a Publisher Showcase on her new editions to be published and gave out free books. John Glenn Paton (26 Italian Songs and Arias(purple hits), the Gateway to Diction series and others)sat in and offered his thoughts on teaching Diction classes in the pre-conference workshops. Ingo Titze presented a main workshop on the cutting edge science of the female voice. Lisa Popeil gave a class on how to teach the belting technique. Nancy Bos gave a session on how to teach the contemporary musician to be successful and healthy in their vocal production. Kelli O'Hara gave a concert that was out of the world fantastic and then came the next day and worked with students in a masterclass setting. Simon Estes was our keynote speaker at the gala during the last night and that is just a smattering of names of those that were presenting.
I roomed with an amazing woman from the conservatory of music in Sydney, Australia. I learned so much from her!! I took a student, Erin Wunz, with me and I wish I had taken more!!
I am swimming with new ideas and ways to better serve my students and I can't wait for the fall to begin so that I can share all the information I learned.
What an amazing experience! I couldn't have done it without my hubby who supported me fully in funding my trip and holding down the home fort while I was gone. This included working 10 hour days at work and coming home and shuffling to and from soccer and sitters and not to mention the food and clothing parts of life.... He's amazing and I am lucky to have him and his support in my passion.
I'll post more once I start employing some of my new-found amazing-ness. :)
Please...allow me to name drop. :) Kurt Alexander-Zeller taught 3 days of a fantastic body mapping class (out of his book "What Every Singer Needs to Know about the Body"). Joan Frey Boytim offered a Publisher Showcase on her new editions to be published and gave out free books. John Glenn Paton (26 Italian Songs and Arias(purple hits), the Gateway to Diction series and others)sat in and offered his thoughts on teaching Diction classes in the pre-conference workshops. Ingo Titze presented a main workshop on the cutting edge science of the female voice. Lisa Popeil gave a class on how to teach the belting technique. Nancy Bos gave a session on how to teach the contemporary musician to be successful and healthy in their vocal production. Kelli O'Hara gave a concert that was out of the world fantastic and then came the next day and worked with students in a masterclass setting. Simon Estes was our keynote speaker at the gala during the last night and that is just a smattering of names of those that were presenting.
I roomed with an amazing woman from the conservatory of music in Sydney, Australia. I learned so much from her!! I took a student, Erin Wunz, with me and I wish I had taken more!!
I am swimming with new ideas and ways to better serve my students and I can't wait for the fall to begin so that I can share all the information I learned.
What an amazing experience! I couldn't have done it without my hubby who supported me fully in funding my trip and holding down the home fort while I was gone. This included working 10 hour days at work and coming home and shuffling to and from soccer and sitters and not to mention the food and clothing parts of life.... He's amazing and I am lucky to have him and his support in my passion.
I'll post more once I start employing some of my new-found amazing-ness. :)
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
A wish to win the Lottery
Sometimes, in our journey to get out of debt, I have those moments where I truly wish I could just in the lottery. Do you know what I would do if I won the lottery? I would pay of my debt!! I swear! I would! I sometimes get so discouraged with paying our "stupid tax". Our past bad choices and mistakes often get in the way of what we want to do and be today. I have not blogged about our journey, although I did post a note on facebook that I should transfer over here just so it's all in one place.
Our "out-of-consumer-debt" date was set for June 1st. Then it had to be moved to July 1st (in March). Now it's August first and I am trying my VERY hardest not to move it again! We are using the Dave Ramsey method of getting out of debt. We are living on a WRITTEN budget using mostly cash (harder to overspend the budget that way). We have paid off 4 consumer debts including my car and 3 credit cards and have accumulated a very large snowball to throw at our debt and are making fast head-way. However, summer is here and the remodel on our house has begun. Our budget for the remodel is still looking on-target and like things will be fine, but we've taken a few spontaneous trips to tri-cities and spent money that was supposed to be "extra to debt" (on top of the snowball amount) on fun things. I should clarify that this is where Dave and I split ways. I am very intent on getting out of debt and I have my eye on it at all times and it's never far from my mind. However...I also feel that this is the prime of our lives. So, sometimes when I'm working on my budget and I have surplus income over our expenses for the money, I add more to our "blow-it" money instead of the "extra to debt" column. Here's the funny part. I feel a little guilty about that. Had we not "blown" that money, we could have stuck to our June 1st date of out-of-debt. Then I remember that I'm still paying A LOT OF MONEY to our debt each month!
A short back story is that Sam and I had "somehow" acquired about $20,000 in consumer debt. In March of 2009, my mom helped me with my taxes and we owed the government a lot of money. We had about $300 in our checking account and no savings. I was a wreck of tears and fears. We lived paycheck to paycheck and at the end of the month I would lose sleep hoping that the check I wrote at the store didn't go through before the check I deposited in the back to cover it. I would walk into Walmart and I could NEVER walk out for under $50. I hated living like that! My mom said that I should try living on a zero-balance budget. I argued that with a fluctuating income (sometimes as much as $1200 from month to month) any kind of budget was impossible! She helped me set up a month to month zero balance budget using Excel. Income here. Expenses here. The numbers have to match. Once I figured it out, I got really good at it. On August 1st 2010 (and not a DAY later) Sam and I will have paid off our $20,000 in consumer debt. Between mom's zero balance budget plan and Dave Ramsey's debt snowball, we've come a LONG way!! Just about all of our "extra" money and a lot of our not-so-extra money has gone to debt INCLUDING our huge tax refund!
So...I want to win the lottery. I want to be totally out of debt and have a fully funded emergency fund (3-6 mo. expenses) in my savings account. I want to be able to take my family on trips and buy some new furniture. I'm a simple girl who loves living a simple life. But there are things I would like to have. I don't want to be rich...I just want a nice living room set, a laptop, and a new bed. :)
Our journey out of debt has taught me a lot of things and I am ultimately grateful for it. However, I can't wait for the day when all that money is actually mine and I don't have to give it to someone else! Thanks mom. Thanks Dave Ramsey. Thanks to family and friends who are supportive and encouraging.
Now that I have processed my feelings, I'm going to make one of the last payments I have to my credit card. They are just such painful payments. :( It'll be worth it in the end.
Our "out-of-consumer-debt" date was set for June 1st. Then it had to be moved to July 1st (in March). Now it's August first and I am trying my VERY hardest not to move it again! We are using the Dave Ramsey method of getting out of debt. We are living on a WRITTEN budget using mostly cash (harder to overspend the budget that way). We have paid off 4 consumer debts including my car and 3 credit cards and have accumulated a very large snowball to throw at our debt and are making fast head-way. However, summer is here and the remodel on our house has begun. Our budget for the remodel is still looking on-target and like things will be fine, but we've taken a few spontaneous trips to tri-cities and spent money that was supposed to be "extra to debt" (on top of the snowball amount) on fun things. I should clarify that this is where Dave and I split ways. I am very intent on getting out of debt and I have my eye on it at all times and it's never far from my mind. However...I also feel that this is the prime of our lives. So, sometimes when I'm working on my budget and I have surplus income over our expenses for the money, I add more to our "blow-it" money instead of the "extra to debt" column. Here's the funny part. I feel a little guilty about that. Had we not "blown" that money, we could have stuck to our June 1st date of out-of-debt. Then I remember that I'm still paying A LOT OF MONEY to our debt each month!
A short back story is that Sam and I had "somehow" acquired about $20,000 in consumer debt. In March of 2009, my mom helped me with my taxes and we owed the government a lot of money. We had about $300 in our checking account and no savings. I was a wreck of tears and fears. We lived paycheck to paycheck and at the end of the month I would lose sleep hoping that the check I wrote at the store didn't go through before the check I deposited in the back to cover it. I would walk into Walmart and I could NEVER walk out for under $50. I hated living like that! My mom said that I should try living on a zero-balance budget. I argued that with a fluctuating income (sometimes as much as $1200 from month to month) any kind of budget was impossible! She helped me set up a month to month zero balance budget using Excel. Income here. Expenses here. The numbers have to match. Once I figured it out, I got really good at it. On August 1st 2010 (and not a DAY later) Sam and I will have paid off our $20,000 in consumer debt. Between mom's zero balance budget plan and Dave Ramsey's debt snowball, we've come a LONG way!! Just about all of our "extra" money and a lot of our not-so-extra money has gone to debt INCLUDING our huge tax refund!
So...I want to win the lottery. I want to be totally out of debt and have a fully funded emergency fund (3-6 mo. expenses) in my savings account. I want to be able to take my family on trips and buy some new furniture. I'm a simple girl who loves living a simple life. But there are things I would like to have. I don't want to be rich...I just want a nice living room set, a laptop, and a new bed. :)
Our journey out of debt has taught me a lot of things and I am ultimately grateful for it. However, I can't wait for the day when all that money is actually mine and I don't have to give it to someone else! Thanks mom. Thanks Dave Ramsey. Thanks to family and friends who are supportive and encouraging.
Now that I have processed my feelings, I'm going to make one of the last payments I have to my credit card. They are just such painful payments. :( It'll be worth it in the end.
Thursday, June 17, 2010
"The best piece of art ever!"
Today was a day of science and learning for Ethan and I. We went to the library and watched the "Mad Scientist" (Science-tist) from Porltland tell us all about water. We watched dry ice vapor pour down the side of a bucket and ice form before our eyes! We learned that it takes up to 12 gallons of water to flush the toilet and 25 gallons for the average shower. We learned that water has a skin and watched HUGE bubbles form from a huge wand! It was awesome!
Then, we tried a few experiments out of our new book...
We created static electricity in a plastic tupperware with daddy's wool sweater. We had pepper in it and the pepper jumped from the bottom and stuck to the lid. Then we took a paperclip and transferred the electricity and the pepper either fell to the bottom of the container or jumped to where there was still static! Ethan loved it! :)
We also learned how our eyes can play tricks on us. We drew a bird on one side of a circle and on the other side (upside down), a birdcage. Then we tied string around it and wound it up. When it unwound, the bird was IN the cage!! Ethan said it was "the best piece of art ever!"
Here are the instructions if you want to try it:
1. Make two circles on a piece of thick white paper, by drawing around a mug twice (we used a nalgene water bottle). Then cut them out.
2. Draw a bird on one circle and a cage on the other (make the cage a little bigger than the bird. Turn the cage upside down. Glue them together back to back.
3. Use a hole puncher to make two holes on either side of the cage. Cut two pieces of string as long as your arm.
4. Thread a piece of string through one pair of holes. Knot the ends. Do the same on the other side.
5. Hold the knots so that the circle hangs down. Flip the circle over and around until the string is twisted up tightly.
6. Now with both hands, pull the string tight. This makes the circle spin around really fast. What can you see?
What's going on?
As the circle spins, your eyes see one picture after the other. The pictures come around so fast that your brain can't separate them. instead, it merges the two. So you see one picture--of the bird caught inside the cage!
Then, we tried a few experiments out of our new book...
We created static electricity in a plastic tupperware with daddy's wool sweater. We had pepper in it and the pepper jumped from the bottom and stuck to the lid. Then we took a paperclip and transferred the electricity and the pepper either fell to the bottom of the container or jumped to where there was still static! Ethan loved it! :)
We also learned how our eyes can play tricks on us. We drew a bird on one side of a circle and on the other side (upside down), a birdcage. Then we tied string around it and wound it up. When it unwound, the bird was IN the cage!! Ethan said it was "the best piece of art ever!"
Here are the instructions if you want to try it:
1. Make two circles on a piece of thick white paper, by drawing around a mug twice (we used a nalgene water bottle). Then cut them out.
2. Draw a bird on one circle and a cage on the other (make the cage a little bigger than the bird. Turn the cage upside down. Glue them together back to back.
3. Use a hole puncher to make two holes on either side of the cage. Cut two pieces of string as long as your arm.
4. Thread a piece of string through one pair of holes. Knot the ends. Do the same on the other side.
5. Hold the knots so that the circle hangs down. Flip the circle over and around until the string is twisted up tightly.
6. Now with both hands, pull the string tight. This makes the circle spin around really fast. What can you see?
What's going on?
As the circle spins, your eyes see one picture after the other. The pictures come around so fast that your brain can't separate them. instead, it merges the two. So you see one picture--of the bird caught inside the cage!
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
Sheet rock is up!!
Well, the sheet rock is up and the tear-out pile is mostly loaded into the dumpster! We covered the huge hole in the wall with plastic until we can get the doors/windows in...here are a few pics...
Here's Sam putting the first layer of mud on the sheet rock. This is NOT his favorite job, but luckily, it's such a small space there are not many seams. :)
This pic shows all three openings to the house...the doorway to the downstairs on the left, the window in the kitchen and the doorway into the kitchen on the right. We didn't realize how tall our ceilings were until we took out that doorway and walk through that hallway! 9 foot ceilings are tall!
Just thought I would keep updating the process. :) I'll see if I can't add a few pics of the doors/windows....
Sunday, June 13, 2010
I love summer!!
I cleaned off the porch today and put out our "porch" table and chair set. This symbolizes the official beginning of summer. I also cleared my front little "hill" of weeds and planted some wildflower seeds. I turned on my ceiling fans for the first time. I worked in the yard and spent time on our reconstruction project.
I didn't spend much time inside and I didn't spend any time on the computer until now. Ethan's asleep, our friend Jon Larkin is helping Sam put up the rest of the sheet rock in the back of the house and I have finished my day. I submitted my grades, finished my board agenda for my meeting on Tuesday and finished up my last few invoices.
Today was the end of a lot of things. The end of the school year, the end of the rainy weather. Today also signifies the official closing of "Jamie Jacobson's Private Voice Studio". I have taught elementary, middle, and high school singers in the afternoons most nights for almost 12 years! Starting next fall, my goal is to be finished with work by 3:00 in the afternoon. I want to pick up my son from his all day Kindergarten class and spend the rest of the day with him! I will still work at the University and I will still have my Kindermusik business. I will still be willing and able to teach younger students private lessons as long as it's before 3:00 in the afternoon (home schooled kids, seniors with open periods, etc). I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to being free after 3pm everyday!
I love summer! I love the freedom that it brings and am very happy and lucky and blessed to be able to do what I do and have such a flexible schedule!
Sam worked pretty stinkin' hard this weekend to get our remodel project pretty far along! By the end of the night, he and Jon plan to have the entire section sheet-rocked! Next, we'll put in the windows, door, paint and put in the floor. It's going faster than I thought and I have to give him credit so far. In our lives, most of our projects get to a functional state and then not much further after that. Sam seems to have a plan this time. So far, so good. :)
This is my favorite time of night and I was up late, so I'm headed to have a beer on my porch chair and enjoy the cool of the night.
I didn't spend much time inside and I didn't spend any time on the computer until now. Ethan's asleep, our friend Jon Larkin is helping Sam put up the rest of the sheet rock in the back of the house and I have finished my day. I submitted my grades, finished my board agenda for my meeting on Tuesday and finished up my last few invoices.
Today was the end of a lot of things. The end of the school year, the end of the rainy weather. Today also signifies the official closing of "Jamie Jacobson's Private Voice Studio". I have taught elementary, middle, and high school singers in the afternoons most nights for almost 12 years! Starting next fall, my goal is to be finished with work by 3:00 in the afternoon. I want to pick up my son from his all day Kindergarten class and spend the rest of the day with him! I will still work at the University and I will still have my Kindermusik business. I will still be willing and able to teach younger students private lessons as long as it's before 3:00 in the afternoon (home schooled kids, seniors with open periods, etc). I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to being free after 3pm everyday!
I love summer! I love the freedom that it brings and am very happy and lucky and blessed to be able to do what I do and have such a flexible schedule!
Sam worked pretty stinkin' hard this weekend to get our remodel project pretty far along! By the end of the night, he and Jon plan to have the entire section sheet-rocked! Next, we'll put in the windows, door, paint and put in the floor. It's going faster than I thought and I have to give him credit so far. In our lives, most of our projects get to a functional state and then not much further after that. Sam seems to have a plan this time. So far, so good. :)
This is my favorite time of night and I was up late, so I'm headed to have a beer on my porch chair and enjoy the cool of the night.
Can't sleep.
I can't sleep. It's almost 2:00 in the morning, and I really can't sleep. There are a lot of reasons. One of the main ones is that the back of our house is not there. :) We tore it out in our remodel and will be putting in our new windows and doors in the coming week, but we didn't have time to put up plastic back there, so it's just a huge open wall. The weather was perfect today (in the 80s) and tonight feels just right, so that's been nice. However...see...there's this cat.
Her name is Chloe, but Ethan calls her Chuck the Cat. Chuck the cat is a stray that wanders around all the time and she and our cat gus gus have a very dog-like best friend relationship. They cry for each other at the door and run and play with one another when I open it. They have a little "love trail" through my front yard where you can literally SEE a place for EACH foot to go. Chuck the cat gets his name from our neighbor. Our neighbor leaves food on his porch for Chuck the cat and our neighbor's name is Chuck. Ethan therefore thought that Chuck that cat was Chuck's cat and now we have "Chuck the cat" and "Chuck the guy".
Chuck the Cat loves to be in our house. She sneaks in whenever she can and Ethan chases her back out again. All this to say that with no back wall, Chuck the cat is in for the night and pretty happy about it, but keeps making a crap-ton of noise. Nothing I can do about it, so I thought I would get up.
So...remodel is going great! Sam worked really hard today and got the back windows and wall torn out and framed in and the old floor removed and a new sub floor put down. Tomorrow, we are hoping to finish painting the outside of the last of the 3 windows and get to sheet rocking. It's going a good deal faster than I ever thought it would. The backyard is ATROCIOUS, but there is so much potential back there that once we have the time and money, working on it will be great fun! :)
So...Here are some pics....
This is the old house. blue asbestos siding with painted chipped and somewhat rotted wood siding underneath. Notice the storm windows over the wood windows. there are three and they are all different sizes and framed in with whatever wood happened to be around the person at the time.
Here is Sam removing the white wood siding and you can see my old vinyl bathroom window to his right. Notice the narrow back doorway.
Here is the inside of the vinyl window. You can get an idea of the not-so-great framing job someone did here as well. :)
Here's the new window from the inside. This window is solid wood and I LOVE IT!!! We are working on one side of the house at a time so we can pay for it out of pocket, but it will be worth it!! I think there is more glass in this window and it feels bigger! Sam just put the old trip back up, but we'll eventually trim it out in matching stained fir.
Here's what we did today:
notice the large HOLE in the wall? :) That's where those nasty windows were and where our pretty doors will be going. They are all three technically doors, but only one will have hardware and function that way...the others will just let in a lot of sunshine! :) I'll take some pictures of the rest tomorrow and post them. Sam got the tiny walls framed in and the header above where the new windows and door is going as well as put in the sub-floor.
I'll post some more tomorrow... I'm going to go try to sleep now. :)
night.
Her name is Chloe, but Ethan calls her Chuck the Cat. Chuck the cat is a stray that wanders around all the time and she and our cat gus gus have a very dog-like best friend relationship. They cry for each other at the door and run and play with one another when I open it. They have a little "love trail" through my front yard where you can literally SEE a place for EACH foot to go. Chuck the cat gets his name from our neighbor. Our neighbor leaves food on his porch for Chuck the cat and our neighbor's name is Chuck. Ethan therefore thought that Chuck that cat was Chuck's cat and now we have "Chuck the cat" and "Chuck the guy".
Chuck the Cat loves to be in our house. She sneaks in whenever she can and Ethan chases her back out again. All this to say that with no back wall, Chuck the cat is in for the night and pretty happy about it, but keeps making a crap-ton of noise. Nothing I can do about it, so I thought I would get up.
So...remodel is going great! Sam worked really hard today and got the back windows and wall torn out and framed in and the old floor removed and a new sub floor put down. Tomorrow, we are hoping to finish painting the outside of the last of the 3 windows and get to sheet rocking. It's going a good deal faster than I ever thought it would. The backyard is ATROCIOUS, but there is so much potential back there that once we have the time and money, working on it will be great fun! :)
So...Here are some pics....
This is the old house. blue asbestos siding with painted chipped and somewhat rotted wood siding underneath. Notice the storm windows over the wood windows. there are three and they are all different sizes and framed in with whatever wood happened to be around the person at the time.
Here is Sam removing the white wood siding and you can see my old vinyl bathroom window to his right. Notice the narrow back doorway.
Here is the inside of the vinyl window. You can get an idea of the not-so-great framing job someone did here as well. :)
Here's the new window from the inside. This window is solid wood and I LOVE IT!!! We are working on one side of the house at a time so we can pay for it out of pocket, but it will be worth it!! I think there is more glass in this window and it feels bigger! Sam just put the old trip back up, but we'll eventually trim it out in matching stained fir.
Here's what we did today:
notice the large HOLE in the wall? :) That's where those nasty windows were and where our pretty doors will be going. They are all three technically doors, but only one will have hardware and function that way...the others will just let in a lot of sunshine! :) I'll take some pictures of the rest tomorrow and post them. Sam got the tiny walls framed in and the header above where the new windows and door is going as well as put in the sub-floor.
I'll post some more tomorrow... I'm going to go try to sleep now. :)
night.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Geneology, I am doin' it....
So, most people know that I grew up LDS and was a devout LDS member through my freshman year of college. Having the large and amazing family I do and the strong values of the LDS faith instilled in me since I was a child, I have always been interested in family history. I worked together with my mom (mostly just copying her work) to put together our pedigree charts and family history as a teenager. I think we eventually got back about 18 generations!! It was a lot of fun...like a treasure hunt. I have always been one to love finding pieces of history and have always been inclined to leave pieces of my life for the future generations to find in their history searches.
I have always been a journal keeper. Since before I could write...mom wrote for me. I have them to this day. I am a scrapbooker. I keep photos and write detailed descriptions of events big and small. When we remodeled our kitchen I kept thinking how awesome it would be to find something from 1921 when the house was built to tell us about life then. So...I sat down and wrote a 6 page history of our family and what I knew about the house so far. I included a picture of us, put it all in an envelope and it's now between the wall and my corner cabinet in my new kitchen for the next generation to find. I write birthday letters to myself. It's true. Every year, I sit down and write myself a letter to open on my birthday the following year. I put lots of things in my letter. Hopes. Dreams. Accomplishments. Goals. Every year I find it amazing how much can happen in one year. It's beginning to slow down now that we are settled in a town and have a family and jobs, but things are just ever changing and for that reason, I look forward to my letter to myself every year. I hand write them and keep them in a file in my file cabinet. Once they are opened and read, I stick them back in the file and write the letter to myself for next year. On the 5-year birthdays (20, 25, 30, etc), I write one for 5 years later. I have two in my drawer right now. One for October 11th of this year when I turn 32 and one for the year I turn 35 that I wrote the year I turned 30. Some people may think this is silly, I enjoy it very much. :) I have started doing this for our son. I wrote several letters to him when I was pregnant and when he was a baby and am keeping them for him in his scrapbook for when he's an adult. History and learning about the past of family can be very fun.
This leads me to the reason for this thought. I was digging around in my basement the other day and I found the box of pedigree charts and family history papers that belonged to my mom in her search for her family history. There were letters and photos, birth certificates and marriage certificates. It was very fun to go through. Then, I struck gold...at least...what I consider gold. It's 76 pages of typed memories from my Great Grandpa Collins (on my mom's side). As far as I know, this is the only copy and it's a copy of the original. I have decided to type it out to allow me to have an electronic copy of such a treasure. I started just a few days ago and I have to say it's been SO fun to learn more about him.
I knew my great-grandparents well. I think I am unique in that way as I am sure that there are many people who have never met theirs. Great Grandma Collins taught me to play piano in her basement. Grandpa let me watch him build his doll houses and work in his garden. I can smell their house in Everett, Washington as I sit here typing. Grandma has been gone a long time now and Grandpa died a few short years ago having lived a very full life. I did get time with them both, especially great grandpa and I am very grateful for that.
His memory writings are just that. He doesn't seem to connect his paragraphs with any one thought. It's as if he wandered in to the type writer (or rather dictated to grandma as he didn't have a thumb...) and "jotted down" the memory that he was thinking of at the moment. One paragraph will be of swimming in the canal in the summertime and the very next one will be about the quarantines that were put on their house when he was very young. The following paragraph will be stories of he and his siblings and the next about winter in North Pocatello where his school was 3 miles away from their house.
I plan to transcribe every word directly as written and then attempt to put it together in sections. I am not sure there is enough information provided for me to do a chronological organization (although, I could probably map it out pretty closely based on what I know of his life already), but maybe themes or chapters. Or...maybe I'll just leave it exactly how it is and double space each paragraph so they can stand on their own as memories pure and simple.
I knew a lot about my great grandfather when I started this project, but I learn more and more every time I sit down and start transcribing. I knew he was a fire fighter as an adult, but I didn't know that as a young boy he and his friends and brothers blew up everything they could get their hands on. :) I knew he loved dogs and they had one when I was little (Missy), but I didn't know that he had the same breed of dog growing up and was VERY attached to that animal. I knew he had a compassionate heart and a loving tone, but I didn't quite know the extent. He sat and told me story after story about the trouble he'd caused as a young adult, but he didn't mention smoking behind the barn as a kid..... :) (hehehe...your secret's out grandpa, and if you were around....I'd be giving you a good deal of grief about it.....)
It's been a fun project. I guess I am just kind of nostalgic. I spent this past weekend with my grandparents on my dad's side. I was planning a visit to see them and my aunt and uncle and cousins that happened to coincide with a surgery grandpa was trying to keep secret. So...I went anyway and kept grandma company. Grandpa is home and just about as good as new and I learned a lot in my time with my grandma Donna. She has been losing her short term memory for quite some time now, but it's starting to get pretty bad. She'll have what my uncle Tim calls her "daily mantra" that she gets fixated on throughout the day until something (undetermined) gets her mind to move on to something else. I heard a number of fun stories and it got me thinking that I REALLY wish I had had a voice recorder with me so that I could capture some of those stories for the rest of the family and for posterity. I think this is something I would like to look into. I have a friend who often does oral interviews of family and friends and then transcribes them. Especially with the generational gap that we have in our society, I think it's most important that we remember and treasure the way things used to be. They lived through World Wars, the great depression. They experienced life without TV or computers. They washed their clothes by hand and from the stories that I have heard and read it took ALL DAY LONG!! My really old and cranky washer is done in about 20 minutes and I don't even have to be home! My great grandpa Collins and his friends had experiences as kids that my son will never have because in our world, it's not safe for me to let him out to ride his bike even down the block without being out there to watch him. My great grandfather and his generation grew up with each other. They had social bonds that were so tight, we can't even imagine them today. They had free roam and true adventure!
It's been fun to read and fun to learn and I'm excited to keep going. For now, I will share one excerpt and I'm sure I'll be back as I think on this wonderful treasure I found in my family history!
"There were no schools near our place so we had to walk about three miles to get to school. This was not bad but at times we did have some problems, especially during the winter. I remember that when the snow was deep, that the older kids had to go ahead and break a path for us younger ones. When the snow was three or four feet deep it did present us smaller kids with a problem. Later on they built a two room school about a block from our place where all six grades met in these two rooms. This lasted until they built a new brick school about a mile from our place and each grade had a separate room. I had a hang-up about going to the toilet while at school. Because of this I would hold it until I got home. Sometimes I really had to run fast and hope the bathroom was clear. This was a stupid hang-up, but that is the way it was and I always made it just in time. That is all but once."--Great Grandpa Collins.
I have always been a journal keeper. Since before I could write...mom wrote for me. I have them to this day. I am a scrapbooker. I keep photos and write detailed descriptions of events big and small. When we remodeled our kitchen I kept thinking how awesome it would be to find something from 1921 when the house was built to tell us about life then. So...I sat down and wrote a 6 page history of our family and what I knew about the house so far. I included a picture of us, put it all in an envelope and it's now between the wall and my corner cabinet in my new kitchen for the next generation to find. I write birthday letters to myself. It's true. Every year, I sit down and write myself a letter to open on my birthday the following year. I put lots of things in my letter. Hopes. Dreams. Accomplishments. Goals. Every year I find it amazing how much can happen in one year. It's beginning to slow down now that we are settled in a town and have a family and jobs, but things are just ever changing and for that reason, I look forward to my letter to myself every year. I hand write them and keep them in a file in my file cabinet. Once they are opened and read, I stick them back in the file and write the letter to myself for next year. On the 5-year birthdays (20, 25, 30, etc), I write one for 5 years later. I have two in my drawer right now. One for October 11th of this year when I turn 32 and one for the year I turn 35 that I wrote the year I turned 30. Some people may think this is silly, I enjoy it very much. :) I have started doing this for our son. I wrote several letters to him when I was pregnant and when he was a baby and am keeping them for him in his scrapbook for when he's an adult. History and learning about the past of family can be very fun.
This leads me to the reason for this thought. I was digging around in my basement the other day and I found the box of pedigree charts and family history papers that belonged to my mom in her search for her family history. There were letters and photos, birth certificates and marriage certificates. It was very fun to go through. Then, I struck gold...at least...what I consider gold. It's 76 pages of typed memories from my Great Grandpa Collins (on my mom's side). As far as I know, this is the only copy and it's a copy of the original. I have decided to type it out to allow me to have an electronic copy of such a treasure. I started just a few days ago and I have to say it's been SO fun to learn more about him.
I knew my great-grandparents well. I think I am unique in that way as I am sure that there are many people who have never met theirs. Great Grandma Collins taught me to play piano in her basement. Grandpa let me watch him build his doll houses and work in his garden. I can smell their house in Everett, Washington as I sit here typing. Grandma has been gone a long time now and Grandpa died a few short years ago having lived a very full life. I did get time with them both, especially great grandpa and I am very grateful for that.
His memory writings are just that. He doesn't seem to connect his paragraphs with any one thought. It's as if he wandered in to the type writer (or rather dictated to grandma as he didn't have a thumb...) and "jotted down" the memory that he was thinking of at the moment. One paragraph will be of swimming in the canal in the summertime and the very next one will be about the quarantines that were put on their house when he was very young. The following paragraph will be stories of he and his siblings and the next about winter in North Pocatello where his school was 3 miles away from their house.
I plan to transcribe every word directly as written and then attempt to put it together in sections. I am not sure there is enough information provided for me to do a chronological organization (although, I could probably map it out pretty closely based on what I know of his life already), but maybe themes or chapters. Or...maybe I'll just leave it exactly how it is and double space each paragraph so they can stand on their own as memories pure and simple.
I knew a lot about my great grandfather when I started this project, but I learn more and more every time I sit down and start transcribing. I knew he was a fire fighter as an adult, but I didn't know that as a young boy he and his friends and brothers blew up everything they could get their hands on. :) I knew he loved dogs and they had one when I was little (Missy), but I didn't know that he had the same breed of dog growing up and was VERY attached to that animal. I knew he had a compassionate heart and a loving tone, but I didn't quite know the extent. He sat and told me story after story about the trouble he'd caused as a young adult, but he didn't mention smoking behind the barn as a kid..... :) (hehehe...your secret's out grandpa, and if you were around....I'd be giving you a good deal of grief about it.....)
It's been a fun project. I guess I am just kind of nostalgic. I spent this past weekend with my grandparents on my dad's side. I was planning a visit to see them and my aunt and uncle and cousins that happened to coincide with a surgery grandpa was trying to keep secret. So...I went anyway and kept grandma company. Grandpa is home and just about as good as new and I learned a lot in my time with my grandma Donna. She has been losing her short term memory for quite some time now, but it's starting to get pretty bad. She'll have what my uncle Tim calls her "daily mantra" that she gets fixated on throughout the day until something (undetermined) gets her mind to move on to something else. I heard a number of fun stories and it got me thinking that I REALLY wish I had had a voice recorder with me so that I could capture some of those stories for the rest of the family and for posterity. I think this is something I would like to look into. I have a friend who often does oral interviews of family and friends and then transcribes them. Especially with the generational gap that we have in our society, I think it's most important that we remember and treasure the way things used to be. They lived through World Wars, the great depression. They experienced life without TV or computers. They washed their clothes by hand and from the stories that I have heard and read it took ALL DAY LONG!! My really old and cranky washer is done in about 20 minutes and I don't even have to be home! My great grandpa Collins and his friends had experiences as kids that my son will never have because in our world, it's not safe for me to let him out to ride his bike even down the block without being out there to watch him. My great grandfather and his generation grew up with each other. They had social bonds that were so tight, we can't even imagine them today. They had free roam and true adventure!
It's been fun to read and fun to learn and I'm excited to keep going. For now, I will share one excerpt and I'm sure I'll be back as I think on this wonderful treasure I found in my family history!
"There were no schools near our place so we had to walk about three miles to get to school. This was not bad but at times we did have some problems, especially during the winter. I remember that when the snow was deep, that the older kids had to go ahead and break a path for us younger ones. When the snow was three or four feet deep it did present us smaller kids with a problem. Later on they built a two room school about a block from our place where all six grades met in these two rooms. This lasted until they built a new brick school about a mile from our place and each grade had a separate room. I had a hang-up about going to the toilet while at school. Because of this I would hold it until I got home. Sometimes I really had to run fast and hope the bathroom was clear. This was a stupid hang-up, but that is the way it was and I always made it just in time. That is all but once."--Great Grandpa Collins.
Friday, May 14, 2010
The meanings of words and numbers....
The hours in my days that are spent with my son have been filled with answers (and sometimes no answers) to fun, interesting and sometimes difficult questions.
Mama, what does 'before' mean?
Mama, what is 'tomorrow'? When is 'last night'?
Mama, how many is 66? Is 98 bigger than a hundred?
Mama, how big is a five and a 0? 50? Is that a dollar? Half a dollar!!!? Like, you just tear your one dollar like this and you have 50?
Mama, when will it be summer?
Mama, how do you know what to eat?
Mama, how do worms hear?
Mama, how does our oven make things so hot?
Mama, what do flowers eat?
Mama, will you always be my mom?
Mama, what does night time mean?
Mama, are dinosaurs real? I mean...I know they are dead, but are they real?
Mama, why can't we see the moon when it's behind a cloud?
Mama, why do some people sing good and some people sing bad?
Mama, what makes it night time?
It's been fun and interesting to have a 5 year old. I've taken an idea from a Kindermusik blog (that I actually re-posted on my own Kindermusik blog) to make a list of questions to explore the answer to. We have made piles of skittles to see "how big" numbers are and compare them to other numbered piles of skittles. We have planted flowers, picked flowers, dug up flowers. We have looked online at constellations and talked about space. We have talked about our bodies and nutrition. I was reminded today by a friend on facebook about what I said the time Ethan wanted to know where he came from. I said he came from my belly. He knows about pregnancy, but he was only like 3 and I didn't want to have THAT conversation, so I told him he was a present for me from his daddy. I told him he was the best present I had ever gotten and ever would get. If I remember correctly at the time he made some comment about a quest to find a "better" present. :)
Being a Mama is awesome!
Mama, what does 'before' mean?
Mama, what is 'tomorrow'? When is 'last night'?
Mama, how many is 66? Is 98 bigger than a hundred?
Mama, how big is a five and a 0? 50? Is that a dollar? Half a dollar!!!? Like, you just tear your one dollar like this and you have 50?
Mama, when will it be summer?
Mama, how do you know what to eat?
Mama, how do worms hear?
Mama, how does our oven make things so hot?
Mama, what do flowers eat?
Mama, will you always be my mom?
Mama, what does night time mean?
Mama, are dinosaurs real? I mean...I know they are dead, but are they real?
Mama, why can't we see the moon when it's behind a cloud?
Mama, why do some people sing good and some people sing bad?
Mama, what makes it night time?
It's been fun and interesting to have a 5 year old. I've taken an idea from a Kindermusik blog (that I actually re-posted on my own Kindermusik blog) to make a list of questions to explore the answer to. We have made piles of skittles to see "how big" numbers are and compare them to other numbered piles of skittles. We have planted flowers, picked flowers, dug up flowers. We have looked online at constellations and talked about space. We have talked about our bodies and nutrition. I was reminded today by a friend on facebook about what I said the time Ethan wanted to know where he came from. I said he came from my belly. He knows about pregnancy, but he was only like 3 and I didn't want to have THAT conversation, so I told him he was a present for me from his daddy. I told him he was the best present I had ever gotten and ever would get. If I remember correctly at the time he made some comment about a quest to find a "better" present. :)
Being a Mama is awesome!
Saturday, May 08, 2010
Triathletes
So, I raced in the first triathlon of the season today! Granted...it was a "mini-tri" which means it was really only 1/2 the distance I would normally race, but I get some "awsome-ness" points in that it's only May!! :) May of 2008, there is absolutely NO WAY that I could have completed even a "mini-tri". I don't mean do well, I mean actually cross the finish line! I did well today and most of all...I had a BLAST! I had to actually wipe the stupid looking grin on my face in order to focus on the small hill in the beginning of the biking section. I love triathlons. I love the rush, the people, the exercise. I love the push, the thought processes required, and the sense of accomplishment. I still hate to run and I'm still not very good at it, but I'm getting better all the time. I also hate the bike to run transition. Going from making very small, but strong repetitive circular motions with your feet for a length of time to taking long and even motions in the run is just about the hardest thing ever. Oh....and I got lost! I headed out of the swim (which was actually held in a pool) and got my gear on and headed out on my bike. I got to the first stop sign and didn't see any chalk arrows or signs posted, so I kept riding...for about 5 blocks. Crap. Dead end. I must have missed an arrow, so I turned around and rode faster than I had ridden (probably ever) back toward the transition area. I arrived at the arrow that I had missed just as most of my heat of swimmers were headed out on their bikes. So...I joined them. :) I passed several people once on my bike, which made me feel a little better. The bike is DEFINITELY my strongest leg of the race. Then came the bike to run transition. I don't run well (because I don't like to run yet) and, as I have mentioned, the transition from biking to running is a difficult one. Try it! Go out and ride a bike for anything more than 20 or 30 minutes and then get off and try to run. It's like spinning around in the living room and then trying to walk in a straight line!! My legs wouldn't work the way I wanted them to and I spent the first little bit of the run walking. I did end up running most of the leg, and felt good overall, but now I know where I need some work. :)
I can't believe that I love triathlons as much as I do, but I love them! However...I don't really consider myself a "triathlete". I look at the people who are faster than me. Those with better gear and better times and WAY better bodies and I consider THEM triathletes. I just don't see myself that way. Don't get me wrong...if you know me at all, you know that I am a very confident person. Sometimes TOO confident. I know that I work hard and that I squeeze a lot into a 24-hour day. I know that I am great at a lot of things, but sports is NOT one of them. However...I do it. I get out there and swim in a swimsuit in front of god and everyone, ride my bike in the right lane where oncoming traffic gets to make comments of the size of my backside, and run in public places where people may see bouncing that will take therapy to get over. Here's the weird part....it's working. I feel great! I am fairly healthy and usually pretty chipper and happy. I can play with Ethan at the park or in the backyard or run along side him while he rides his bike. That's really all I ask. I don't have to be a triathlete. I just want something that will push me to be better. Triathlons and the triathletes that race in them are my inspiration!
Today was a great experience and I can't wait to gear up for the next race in July and really push myself this year to beat my times. I am excited to swim well, bike fast and run strong. After all...I'm a triathlete and I tri like a girl!! :)
I can't believe that I love triathlons as much as I do, but I love them! However...I don't really consider myself a "triathlete". I look at the people who are faster than me. Those with better gear and better times and WAY better bodies and I consider THEM triathletes. I just don't see myself that way. Don't get me wrong...if you know me at all, you know that I am a very confident person. Sometimes TOO confident. I know that I work hard and that I squeeze a lot into a 24-hour day. I know that I am great at a lot of things, but sports is NOT one of them. However...I do it. I get out there and swim in a swimsuit in front of god and everyone, ride my bike in the right lane where oncoming traffic gets to make comments of the size of my backside, and run in public places where people may see bouncing that will take therapy to get over. Here's the weird part....it's working. I feel great! I am fairly healthy and usually pretty chipper and happy. I can play with Ethan at the park or in the backyard or run along side him while he rides his bike. That's really all I ask. I don't have to be a triathlete. I just want something that will push me to be better. Triathlons and the triathletes that race in them are my inspiration!
Today was a great experience and I can't wait to gear up for the next race in July and really push myself this year to beat my times. I am excited to swim well, bike fast and run strong. After all...I'm a triathlete and I tri like a girl!! :)
Sunday, April 25, 2010
30 is the new 20
So, they say that 30 is the new 20. While this may not be true for some, it's definitely true for me! Now, don't get me wrong, I wouldn't re-live my 20's if someone paid me to. Not that I didn't have a great time and I really don't have too many regrets, but just thinking about it makes me tired.
My 20s were spent gaining 60 pounds in 9 months, getting into debt, drinking, skipping school, and flunking classes because I didn't want to go to them. Really, my 20s were spent making decisions that would affect the rest of my life. My 30's have so far been full of more fun things such as getting OUT of debt, losing 40 pounds in 7 months, drinking, teaching school and grading classes that 20 year olds don't want to come to.
My siblings say I am judgmental. I am...it's one of my flaws. But I have finally come to understand what my parents meant about watching someone make decisions as someone who has been down that road before and knows the better way. It's hard to want things for people that they can't understand the benefits of or things they don't want for themselves. That's where my judgmental attitude comes in. It's not that I am "judging" their decisions. Most of the time, it's that I see the path they will be on down the road if they make that decision because I have been there and paid the price already.
I have noticed this as a generational difference. I, being a 30-something, want the world. I want everything for everyone. My family, my friends, myself...I want the best of all of it and I go after it. I also try (too hard) to guide others toward their happiness. My mom, a representative of the next generation, also wants the world for people. She wants the best for all her friends and family, but she has learned that she can't MAKE people do it. She has learned that she can't HAND people their happiness (as hard as she tries at times). She, in her 50-somethings, is coming to terms with this fact. My grandfather will act as the representation of the next generation up. He just smiles and shakes his head. In his 80-somethings, he has learned that people have to walk the walk for themselves. He has learned, accepted, and come to terms with the fact that people are going to screw up. They are going to drink too much and flunk out of classes. They are going to gain 60 pounds in 9 months and date the wrong people. He loves them for who they are and wants the best for them, but he has also learned that it's part of life to screw up and everyone's got to have their own huge mistakes and there is nothing that anyone else can do about it.
He smiles and shakes his head and kind of giggles to himself when I express my frustration at watching someone I love make decisions in their lives that I feel are mistakes. He doesn't laugh at them. In fact, he might be laughing at me. At my desire to change the world and the course of people's fate. But he does it out of love and it's something I have come to see in his interpretation of people and desire in mine.
I got to thinking about all of this the other day in thinking about decisions of students, friends, family and most of all, my son. :) It was a rough parenting day yesterday. He's 5 now and he's fighting for his independence. We listed all the things that he would learn to do by himself now that he's five. He's going to ride his bike without training wheels, learn to read, learn to tie his shoes. The biggest one for him was pouring his own cereal in the morning. He'll get the bowl. He'll decide how much cereal and how much milk is enough and get more if he needs it. Independence. As his mother, and a woman in my 30's, it's my job to let go and let him make his own decisions and mistakes. Sometimes it's spilled milk. Sometimes it's too much cereal. Whatever it is, it's small in the bigger scheme of learning. Then there was the old "love and logic" standard argument about his coat! He didn't want to wear his coat. I argued. Then I remembered to let go, he went without a coat, he froze and he learned. Had I let go and allowed him to make his decision for himself to begin with, we wouldn't have had the power struggle and he still would have learned the lesson. Not the lesson of "do what mom says because she's usually right", but the lesson of "making sure that I have a coat when I go outside in case I get cold".
My 30's have meant turning over a new leaf. Putting my money in order. Getting my body in shape. Remodeling my home into something I can live in FOREVER! My 30s have been exciting so far. I need to remember that although I am in my 30s and loving it, my son is only just starting on his journey at 5 years of age and needs to make his own mistakes and fail on his own. I need to remember that the decisions that my family, friends, and students make are theirs and not mine. I need to keep my grandfather's face in my mind and smile and not judge. I need to learn to find the balance between guiding my son in his learning and making his decisions for him. My 30s are going to be the best decade yet and I'm so excited for them.
My 20s were spent gaining 60 pounds in 9 months, getting into debt, drinking, skipping school, and flunking classes because I didn't want to go to them. Really, my 20s were spent making decisions that would affect the rest of my life. My 30's have so far been full of more fun things such as getting OUT of debt, losing 40 pounds in 7 months, drinking, teaching school and grading classes that 20 year olds don't want to come to.
My siblings say I am judgmental. I am...it's one of my flaws. But I have finally come to understand what my parents meant about watching someone make decisions as someone who has been down that road before and knows the better way. It's hard to want things for people that they can't understand the benefits of or things they don't want for themselves. That's where my judgmental attitude comes in. It's not that I am "judging" their decisions. Most of the time, it's that I see the path they will be on down the road if they make that decision because I have been there and paid the price already.
I have noticed this as a generational difference. I, being a 30-something, want the world. I want everything for everyone. My family, my friends, myself...I want the best of all of it and I go after it. I also try (too hard) to guide others toward their happiness. My mom, a representative of the next generation, also wants the world for people. She wants the best for all her friends and family, but she has learned that she can't MAKE people do it. She has learned that she can't HAND people their happiness (as hard as she tries at times). She, in her 50-somethings, is coming to terms with this fact. My grandfather will act as the representation of the next generation up. He just smiles and shakes his head. In his 80-somethings, he has learned that people have to walk the walk for themselves. He has learned, accepted, and come to terms with the fact that people are going to screw up. They are going to drink too much and flunk out of classes. They are going to gain 60 pounds in 9 months and date the wrong people. He loves them for who they are and wants the best for them, but he has also learned that it's part of life to screw up and everyone's got to have their own huge mistakes and there is nothing that anyone else can do about it.
He smiles and shakes his head and kind of giggles to himself when I express my frustration at watching someone I love make decisions in their lives that I feel are mistakes. He doesn't laugh at them. In fact, he might be laughing at me. At my desire to change the world and the course of people's fate. But he does it out of love and it's something I have come to see in his interpretation of people and desire in mine.
I got to thinking about all of this the other day in thinking about decisions of students, friends, family and most of all, my son. :) It was a rough parenting day yesterday. He's 5 now and he's fighting for his independence. We listed all the things that he would learn to do by himself now that he's five. He's going to ride his bike without training wheels, learn to read, learn to tie his shoes. The biggest one for him was pouring his own cereal in the morning. He'll get the bowl. He'll decide how much cereal and how much milk is enough and get more if he needs it. Independence. As his mother, and a woman in my 30's, it's my job to let go and let him make his own decisions and mistakes. Sometimes it's spilled milk. Sometimes it's too much cereal. Whatever it is, it's small in the bigger scheme of learning. Then there was the old "love and logic" standard argument about his coat! He didn't want to wear his coat. I argued. Then I remembered to let go, he went without a coat, he froze and he learned. Had I let go and allowed him to make his decision for himself to begin with, we wouldn't have had the power struggle and he still would have learned the lesson. Not the lesson of "do what mom says because she's usually right", but the lesson of "making sure that I have a coat when I go outside in case I get cold".
My 30's have meant turning over a new leaf. Putting my money in order. Getting my body in shape. Remodeling my home into something I can live in FOREVER! My 30s have been exciting so far. I need to remember that although I am in my 30s and loving it, my son is only just starting on his journey at 5 years of age and needs to make his own mistakes and fail on his own. I need to remember that the decisions that my family, friends, and students make are theirs and not mine. I need to keep my grandfather's face in my mind and smile and not judge. I need to learn to find the balance between guiding my son in his learning and making his decisions for him. My 30s are going to be the best decade yet and I'm so excited for them.
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