Life is what you make it?!?

Isn't that such a funny idea? that life is what you make it? I think that's rather silly, actually. I thought a lot about this last night as I lay awake unable to sleep. I had a bit of a break down yesterday in realizing that I have not found a balance between work-ing, mommy-ing, wife-ing, and being myself. I went to bed feeling like a total failure in all things. My house was still a mess, my laundry was still not caught up, my son and I had only spent about a total of 2 hours together during the day and I hadn't seen my husband at all. I have become one of those people who I pity. One of those people who has so much going on in their lives that they do lots and lots of things, but do them half way instead of being good at any one thing. That's how I felt yesterday. To add to that, I straightened out a few other things to finish my degree. One more thing to add to a very busy plate. I find it difficult to function sometimes. I have students who come in to their lessons and complain because they didn't have any time. They are carrying 16 credits. Well, that's a lot of credits and if you have a job and credits or a family and credits or, god forbid, a family and work and credits, then yes, I can see how that would make a person busy. There are those people. People who work and go to school and raise a family and are in the musical and ....... I know there are single mom's who work full time and sometimes more than that and have kids and they look at my complaining the same way I look at some of student's complaining. However, I had a bad day yesterday and it didn't start off great today either, but did get progressively better! :)

It just bugged me. The idea that life is what you make it. I don't think that's true. I think the statement has to be that life just is. Yes, attitude has a lot to do with how we look at our situation and I can see that our outlook could potentially change our lives, but I don't think life is what you make it. I think life just is and how we deal with it is what we make it. I couldn't help lying awake thinking about the fact that I haven't had a solid night's sleep in weeks due to Ethan being up in the night. I have 21 private students and 13 at EOU and a voice class. All those things are very good things. I love my son more than anything in the world and there is nothing I would rather do than spend time with him, but I do love what I do and I don't think I could be a good mom if I was the mom who stayed home all day. It's just not my personality. I think I am a much better friend, mom, wife, and person when I have something productive to do in a day. I guess it's just the key to find that balance. To make sure that I am getting what I need to do my jobs, whatever they may be.

Anyway, I will blog more tomorrow because I have the morning to do so, but for now, I am going to go change the laundry and watch some TV with my hubby.